


Spare You

by Satanlickmydick



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Magic, Magical Ailment, Magical Sickness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-13
Updated: 2015-08-13
Packaged: 2018-04-14 13:57:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4567116
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Satanlickmydick/pseuds/Satanlickmydick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On a hunt, Merlin is injured. Turns out it's deadly. The cure seems all but unobtainable. So Merlin decides to leave Camelot and spend his dying days in Ealdor. Arthur finds out and goes after him. There's no sex but I rated it M for implied sexual content. (Don't worry Merlin doesn't die.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spare You

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I’ve just started watching Season 5 so this takes place the beginning of Season 5. Also in my story Gwen and Arthur never had a romance or got married. I love Gwen but not in a relationship with Arthur, lol.

The hunt had started out like any other, Arthur being his usual prattish self and blaming Merlin for everything that went wrong. Merlin just rolled his eyes and muttered “clotpole” under his breath, fetching skewed arrows. There was no real malice between the king and his manservant, just, something akin to… pent up electricity? Like the way a storm cloud would feel before a burst of lightning.

Everything was going fine until the third day when Arthur shot down a large Guinea Fowl over an eerie mist covered lake and ordered Merlin to go and get it.

“Really?” Merlin asked in disbelief. “It’s in the middle of the water.”

Arthur scoffed. “Oh come on Merlin, it’s hardly five metres in, you’ll barely get your trousers wet.”

Merlin scowled at the blonde and begrudgingly stalked towards the lake edge and took off his shoes and socks. He waded into the cool water and squinted through the mist for the dead bird. He was a few metres out when suddenly the rocks under his feet gave way. He felt a sharp slice in his left ankle and he went tumbling down. He flailed about a bit in the water then stood upright. He did not want to face the shore where he could hear Arthur and the others laughing at him, completely forgetting about the large scrape on his ankle. He spotted the Guinea Fowl next to him out of the corner of his eye and grabbed the damn bird, stomping back to shore. He threw the bird forcefully at Arthur. Arthur, of course, caught it skillfully.

“Happy?” Merlin quipped.

“Very.” Arthur responded with a grin.

Merlin slipped his footwear back on and the troupe made the two day trek back to Camelot.

\--

The afternoon they got back to Camelot, Arthur went up to his chambers to review the ‘urgent’ paperwork that arrived while he was hunting. He excused Merlin for the next few hours.

Merlin trudged back to his and Gaius’ chambers, exhausted.

He opened the door to a fowl stench and covered his nose. Apparently Gaius was concocting another batch of that vile sore throat remedy. The older man looked up from his mortar and pestle at the creak of the doorframe.

“Welcome back, Merlin. How was the hunt?” He asked, dropping a sprig of some herb into the mortar.

“As exhilarating as they all are.” Merlin replied sarcastically.

Gaius simply smirked. “Oh, Merlin could you get that jar of yellow powder from that shelf there?” The physician pointed at the shelf next to Merlin’s head.

Merlin reached up and grabbed the jar, he crossed the room to bring it to Gaius but suddenly, the room started spinning, fast. And everything got fuzzy. He felt a table crash into his hip and heard glass shatter.

“-lin? Merlin? Are you okay?” Merlin heard faintly as the world started to come back into focus. He felt Gaius’ hands gently guide him to the cot in the room.

“What happened?” He asked. Then suddenly a searing pain shot from Merlin’s left ankle and surrounded his lower leg. He screamed and grabbed it in agony. The pain quickly subsided and Merlin lifted up his trouser leg to reveal the cut from the lake the other day was scabbed over purple, not the normal dark red of clotted human blood. And extending from the gash was a web of purple veins weaving it’s way around the young boy’s calf.

“Where did you get this?” Gaius asked, concern lacing his voice. 

“Uh, some lake in the forest, there was some creepy mist over it, Arthur’s catch fell in so I waded in to get it and I slipped on the rocks, I guess I didn’t check it after it happened…” He replied. “What is it?” 

“I don’t know,” The older man mused. “But I have a strong feeling it is no mortal affliction. I’ll look into it immediately.” 

“You mean… magic?” Merlin asked, getting a bit worried now.

“Maybe.” The physician said, walking over towards his large stack of books. “In the meanwhile, keep an eye out on that leg, let me know if anything changes or if you feel any other symptoms.” Gaius instructed.

Merlin nodded his head, feeling dread pool in his stomach.

\--  
Later that night when Merlin was bringing Arthur his dinner, the young king was grunting, thrusting his mock wooden sword in the air and practicing his swording footwork across the tile floor. Merlin set down the tray of meat, bread, cheese and fruit on the table by the fire and crossed the room to pour a goblet of water, setting that on the table as well.

“You’ll need a lot more practice than that if you want to be a real knight, sire.” Merlin teased.

Arthur ceased his ministrations and stalked towards the food, throwing Merlin a glare. “I could have you in the stocks for your sass.” He stated.

“Yeah, but you won’t.” Merlin grinned, leaning on the dresser where the wine and water pitchers were.

Arthur favored stuffing a piece of bread in his mouth over answering. “Bring the wine over here would you?” He asked more than ordered.

Merlin just smirked and grabbed the silver pitcher and took a step. Suddenly the room began to spin and his vision went blurry again. His brain didn’t register the clanging of metal on tile or the thud of a body on the floor, or the scrape of a chair and the hurried footsteps running across the room. 

When the world came into focus again and his brain was no longer fuzzy, Merlin lifted his head. wine spilled on the floor across from him and the young king leaned over him, a steady grip on Merlin’s upper arm and another dangerously close to holding his hand.

“Bloody hell, Merlin, what was that?” Arthur questioned the servant. Merlin looked at the blonde’s face. It was in moments like this, when it was just him and Arthur, when there were no use for barriers, that Merlin swore he could see genuine emotion wash over his face. Right now Merlin couldn’t possibly be reading this right, it seemed Arthur was… scared, fiercely protective, caring even. But Merlin was just a servant to Arthur, why would he matter so much to a king? The once and future ruler of Albion?

“Yeah, I just, was a little dizzy, and I guess a bit tired still from the hunt.” Merlin shrugged as he sat up. He could feel sweat drip down his forehead and back. Wow it was really hot in here.

Arthur’s hands remained on the smaller boy’s arm as he stood up, only releasing his grip when he was sure Merlin was steady.

Merlin looked down at the wine spill on the floor and muttered. “I’ll get a rag to mop that up.”

“No.” Came Arthur’s quick reply. Merlin’s brow furrowed. “I’ll get someone else to do it, you go and get some rest.”

Merlin hesitated. “Are… Are you sure, Sire?” He asked.

“Yes.” Arthur insisted.

\--

Merlin woke up the next morning covered in sweat, his head feeling a bit fuzzy. He looked out the window and noticed the sun was shining fully. He sighed. Wait, the sun was too bright, oh no, he had overslept! He sat up quickly and the room wobbled a bit, not quite spinning yet but warning that it might if he were not careful.

His door opened and Gaius came in. “The King wanted me to tell you that you’re excused of your duties today on the physician's request that you get some rest.” Merlin let out a sigh of relief. “Which gives up plenty of time to research your affliction.”

\--

“Purpura Ericius.” Gaius said from where he stood over a large opened text. Merlin looked up from where he was reading about yellow leeches.

“Um… what?” He asked.

“I believe your laceration comes from the Purpura Ericius. Your injury matches that of what’s described in the book.” Gaius explained. Merlin walked over to where Gaius was. 

“Okay so what’s it doing and how do we cure it?” Merlin questioned. Gaius went silent and looked up at the young boy whom he had grown to love as his own son. Sorrow filled his eyes. 

“Gaius, what is it? You’re scaring me.” The young sorcerer picked up the book and paced as he read. “ ‘A rare magical purple sea urchin that resides under rocks and sand in mist covered lakes. Symptoms of a Purpura Ericius sting include the clotting of the affected area in a dark purple scab with dark purple veins protruding from the scab. Other symptoms often include dizziness, glossy eyes, and perspiration.’ “ Merlin scanned the rest of the page and his face went pale. ”No…” He breathed. “ ‘Symptoms increase for seven to ten days until victim succumbs to death’...” Merlin read on. He was fighting tears. “I-” Merlin’s voice caught in his throat. “I don’t want to die.” 

He crossed the room and sunk onto the cot, head slumped between his shoulders.

He was supposed to protect The Once and Future King. He had a destiny. He was supposed to make sure that Arthur united Albion in peace. It was supposed to be Him and Arthur until the end, even if Arthur didn’t know it.

Merlin rubbed his face with his hands.

“Merlin, we can fix this, we always do.” Gaius reassured him, crossing over and placing a reassuring hand on the boy’s shoulder.

“But I can’t get the cure!” Merlin almost sobs. ‘A tear from someone who has pledged their body, mind, and soul to the afflicted.’ How the hell would Merlin get that? Nobody’s ever pledged Merlin anything, let alone their body, mind and soul.

“We can fix this.” Gaius simply repeats, as if trying to convince himself as well.

\--

Merlin holes himself up in his bedroom for the next three hours. Seven to ten days. That means Merlin had about three to six days left. Not even a week left to live.

He let the tears flow down his face as he stares at the book opened in front of him to the page that spells his fate out for him

\--

Merlin emerges from his room just as the sun begins to set, eyes puffy and red. He tells Gaius that he plans on leaving in the morning and making the two day trip to Ealdor so he can spend his last moments with his mother in the place he grew up. He also asks Gaius to look after Arthur, seeing as that was his destiny, after all, and he was failing at it.

\--

He decides to say goodbye to Arthur, oh no, he won’t tell the king that he is dying. Arthur will just think this was a check- in and a chat. But it’s so much more than that.

He pushes the door to the king’s chambers open slowly, looking around for the blonde. Merlin sees Arthur sitting on the edge of his bed, hands gripping a goblet, staring intently in thought down at it. He looked tired, like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. Arthur was so young. Too young to have to worry about those things. Merlin just wanted to snake in arms around Arthur’s stomach and whisper lovely things into his neck. Like how beautiful he was when he smiled. Or how his kindness radiated from his very soul. Or how Merlin was lost the moment Arthur opened his mouth.

But Merlin would do no such thing.

Arthur got like this sometimes, so pensive and critical of who he had become. He would sit for hours, thinking about how he was a failure, how he was unfit for the throne, how he was afraid one day he might just go insane.

Merlin walked over to the four poster and sat down next to his master, his friend, his destiny.

Arthur did not make any gesture to acknowledge Merlin’s presence until he spoke.

“How are you feeling?” Arthur questioned. Still staring into his goblet.

“Better.” Merlin lied.

“That’s good.” Arthur mused.

After another moment of silence Arthur spoke again.

“How do you move past the crushing feeling that you’re ruining the one thing you were born to do? How do you accept the fact that you’ve failed your destiny?”

Merlin snorted. He knew all about failing destinies. “You grow to realize that maybe there is no such thing as destiny.”

“But what if everyone expected you to be this great thing and you thought you could be, but once you get there, you realize, you’re not so great at all…” The king trails on.

“Arthur-” Merlin starts.

“I just feel so heavy, Merlin, like I have weights attached to my feet and I’m in quicksand and I’m sinking…”

“Arthur Pendragon,” Merlin sighs. “You ridiculous, idiotic, clotpole…”

Arthur turns to look at the smaller boy.

“You are so amazing. You don’t see peasant, knight or nobleman. You see human, flesh and blood. You see heart.” Merlin pauses. “I think it’s because you have the biggest out of all of us.” Merlin looks deep into Arthur’s blue eyes. “It’s because you love with everything you have.” Even if you don’t love me. And, woah, where did that thought come from? Merlin continued. “You loved your father, you love Camelot.” Merlin looked down and stared at the red of the blanket underneath them. “And they all love you back.”

I love you back.

I love you.

“All?” Arthur asked.

Merlin felt a hand on his cheek. He looked up and Arthur’s face was inches from his own. They slowly moved their faces closer. Merlin’s eyes fluttered shut and he felt the king’s lips ghosting on his own. He could feel Arthur’s hot breath on his mouth. They stayed there like that for a moment, relishing in the anticipation. Then, without knowing who initiated it, their lips were pressed together. It was sweet, chaste, loving. Everything a first kiss should be. Then they pulled apart.

“Arthur-” Merlin whispered.

Arthur didn’t want to talk. He leaned forward and captured Merlin’s mouth in another kiss, deepening this one, portraying all the need, heat, urgency. Arthur’s hands grabbed the sides of Merlin’s head as Merlin’s right hand came up to pull at the nape of Arthur’s neck.

They stayed like that for a minute, Merlin trying to express all the love and gratitude that was never spoken through this one kiss, until he realized he was crying. His tears making his and Arthur’s cheeks wet.

Arthur pulled away and stared at Merlin with concern, the servant’s eyes glossy and unfocused. “Merlin, wha-?”

“I’m sorry.” Merlin choked back a sob. “I- I can’t-” He got up and ran from the room.

“Merlin!” Arthur called after him, standing up. He ran a hand through his hair in frustration.

\--

Merlin left before the sun came up the next morning.

\--

“Gaius?” Arthur said as he entered the physician’s quarters, they were empty. Merlin hadn’t come in for work that morning. Although Arthur wasn’t really surprised. He came by to see if Merlin was here with the excuse of dropping off armor that needed fixing. He walked slowly towards the young boy’s room, he pushed open the door.

“Merlin?” He looked around the room. No sign of him. He slowly walked over to the bed and placed his armor down. He turned to leave when the open book on the boy’s bed caught his eye.

\--  
Gaius came into his workspace with a bundle of fresh herbs and placed them on his worktable when he noticed Merlin’s door was open and the young King was inside.

“Sire?” He asked as he walked towards the room.

Arthur emerged from the room with the large book in his hand.

“Gaius…” He said barely above a whisper. “Is- Is Merlin dying?”

Gaius was silent.

“Gaius!” Arthur snapped. “The dizziness, glossy eyes, this book was open on his bed! Is he dying, Gaius!?” Arthur yelled, he felt tears burning in his eyes.

“Yes, Sire, I’m afraid so.” Gaius replied, solemnly.

“That's why he-” Arthur muttered to himself. “Gaius.” He said, looking up at the physician. “Where is he?”

Gaius went silent.

“Gaius, please!” Arthur begged.

“Sire-”

“I need to know.” Arthur said.

\--

Merlin sat in the room he grew up in, on the bed he occupied as a child. He looked around, at the quilts his mother had made over the years, the pots and pans she cooked their food in, the worn furniture. 

When he had told her she cried. Of course she did. Merlin held her as she sobbed into his shoulder.

After that they shared a meal and played checkers, like they used to when Merlin was a child. 

Merlin helped with the chores when his dizzy spells weren’t so bad.

It was sunset. His mother was feeding the horses now, she would be back in a few minutes.

“Merlin.” Her voice rang in his ears. “Merlin there’s something you need to see outside.”

Merlin looked up at her with his glossy eyes and sighed, standing up. He followed her out the door.

Outside was a large white horse. Sat atop was a hooded figure. Those were the horses used at the castle, and Merlin’s stomach dropped as the figure pulled of their hood.

“Arthur.” He breathed.

“Can we talk in private?” The young king asked as he dismounted his horse.

\--

They sat side by side on Merlin’s bed in silence for a few minutes.

“Is it true?” Arthur spoke finally. “Are you really-?”

“Dying?” Merlin stated and Arthur winced. “Yes.” He answered.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Arthur pleaded, looking up at the black haired boy.

“I figured you had more pressing things to worry about. I didn’t want to concern you with the ailments of a servant.” He sighed.

“Merlin.” Arthur chided, placing a finger under the other boy’s chin and turning his head to look up at the blonde. “You are so much more than a servant to me.”

Merlin sighed. “Arthur, you can’t drop everything every time I’m in trouble. You’re a king, you have duties, a kingdom to look after.” 

“I don’t care, to hell with being king and duties.”

“Arthur-”

“No, Merlin, I- I didn’t realize it soon enough, it took me so long to figure out why every time I look at you my stomach turns inside out. Why, when we touch, my blood pumps as if I’ve just been in a battle. Merlin I would live in a dirt hut in the woods forever eating nothing but rat stew as long as it was with you. I would watch a hundred kingdoms fall as long as you were by my side.” Arthur stated as tears fell down his cheeks. “Merlin, I lo-”

“Stop.” Merlin interrupted.

“What-?”

“I’m trying to spare you, Arthur, once you say those words you can’t take them back.” Merlin pleaded.

“I wouldn’t want to.” Arthur whispered. But instead of saying those three words he decided to show them. Pressing his lips to Merlin’s like they did in Arthur’s chambers what seemed like ages ago. They kissed deeply, Arthur’s tears streaking across both their faces.

Then, suddenly, Merlin felt a searing pain shoot through his leg where the wound was.

“Ah!” He gasped, bending down to grab it.

“Merlin?” Arthur said worriedly. His stomach dropped. Was this it?

Merlin picked up his trouser leg to look at his leg. He gasped.

The purple veins across his calf were receding into the dark purple laceration, which was shrinking into his skin. After a few seconds it all was gone, disappeared and his skin was smooth and pale like nothing was there at all.

Arthur gaped in confusion. And Merlin stared at him.

“It- It was you…” He murmured, touching his cheek that was still wet with Arthur’s tears.

“What happened?” Arthur asked, still concerned, not understanding what was happening.

“You- You were the cure…” Merlin tried to explain.

“The cure?”

“The tears of someone who has pledged their body, mind and soul.” Merlin repeated the text. “But… You’re King of Camelot… why pledge yourself to me?”

“That was the cure?”

Merlin nodded his head. Arthur smiled cupping Merlin’s cheek.

“Why wouldn’t I? Merlin, I love you, you idiot.” He stated before kissing him. Arthur wrapped his other arm around Merlin’s back and pulled them closer, chest to chest. Merlin wrapped his arms around the King’s neck and melted into him.

\--

Three days later, Merlin’s eyes fluttered open as he woke up. The bright light streaming through the glass windows of the large room, he glanced around. The fireplace he spent many cold evenings tending to. The table on which he served meals. The desk on which official Camelot business was tended to.

Then his hand traveled down to his stomach, where a strong tan arm was wrapped around. He smiled. He turned over in its grasp to face the person it belonged to. His hand came up to run through the blonde locks and traveled down until they rested on a beautiful cheek. He placed a gentle kiss on pink lips.

The other’s eyes fluttered open, blue meeting blue.

“Good morning, Arthur.”

**Author's Note:**

> So I was originally gonna write a smut scene for this but I'm so bad at those and I figured extra fluff would make up for it, haha :) Also, follow me on tumblr if you want: http://satanlickmydick.tumblr.com/ Kudos and Comments greatly appreciated!


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